We received an automated telephone message from the principal of The Kid’s school, inviting parents to a “special parent-teacher conference” to talk about ways to improve the school’s educational goals.
I am, of course, offended by the idea of the conference. It’s very simple, really: the way to improve the school’s educational objectives is to do what you say you’re going to do. For example, on the school district academic standards list for 5th grade, the kids were supposed to understand major events in U.S. history through the Civil War.
“I bet she doesn’t know anything about the Civil War,” I said.
“Oh, I’m sure she knows who fought whom,” DH asserted.
And from upstairs (nothing wrong with her hearing), The Kid yelled, “The Confederates and the Union!”
“Well, OK, but which side wanted the slaves?” I asked.
“The Union!” she replied confidently.
So here we are now, end of 6th grade, and The Kid is supposedly well-versed in major events in Canadian and Latin American history.
“Which empire exerted the most influence on Latin American history and culture?”
“The French,” she tells us.
What had she been doing in class, we wondered.
“Well, the homework is this map of South America, and we’re supposed to glue a spice or food that begins with the same letter as each country on the map.” She paused, then added helpfully, “The teacher said hands-on activities are important in learning things.”
My daughter is a straight A student.
My daughter has been accepted into the middle school Honors program.
Someone is delusional (and no, it’s not The Pig).